Talking to Boys Made Easy

Photo provided by Anna Tselevich

Photo provided by Anna Tselevich

A plethora of awkward silences, exchanged looks of confusion and misunderstanding, mental notes to look up unfamiliar language later on.  This could describe two different conversations: one with a foreign exchange student, and one with a boy.  Talking to guys, whether it’s flirty or friendly, can be challenging, anxiety-inducing, and even impossible!  But never fear, here are a few tips and tricks that will help you talk to any guy.

Speak// if I had a penny for every time one of my buddies fawned and pined after a girl,worked up the guts to ask her out, only to return from the date and report: “She seems cool but she doesn’t say anything,” I’d be rich enough to produce a “boy-talk” translator.  When talking to a boy, don’t be afraid to grab the talking stick and hold on to it.  Tell a story, make a joke, share interesting facts about yourself, it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re not a mute.

If he’s giving you big talk, it’s probably a rap lyric// unlike girls who are wise enough to look to each other for help with dealing with the alternate species that is boys, guys prefer to “bump” to rap music, so that no conversation has to be had at all.  Artists like Rae Sremmurd, Travis Scott, and Kendrick Lamar rap about getting girls like it’s as easy as pie, so obviously that’s what guys are going to emulate.  Try not to be thrown off when a boy starts acting cocky or reciting rap lyrics, more often than not, their intention is to be funny not offensive, and ALWAYS when they finally start speaking for themselves, it’s a heck of a lot more realistic and interesting.

Tease him// when you’re trying too hard to be cute and complimentary of a boy, the conversation becomes overly-formal, forced, and flat out cringe-worthy.  Don’t be afraid to boldly call him out on the stupid or goofy things you will inevitably notice about him.  This will knock him down a few pegs, and release the pressure of trying to feign perfection.  Everybody will feel more at ease once they can laugh and stop taking the conversation so seriously.  Remember, keep it fun and kind and only dish out as much as you can take.

Ask questions// everybody, be it a boys or girl, likes to talk about themselves.  Even my shyest of guy friends is hard to shut up once you get him going about something that he considers important.  Especially if you’re dealing with a “quiet-type”, asking him questions will encourage him to open up to you.  Questions also help you to get the know the guy better and learn about what he likes beyond, well, you.

Don’t overthink it// boys are just going to talk to you.  That’s it.  They are not going to waste their brainpower coming up with a bunch of complex riddles, hints, or signs meant to convey hidden messages.  They’re honestly just not there, so there’s no point looking for them.  Accept what he’s saying to you at face value and try not to read too far into or over analyze anything.  Also, more often than not, boys can seem underwhelmed, monotone, or frankly bored.  This is because it’s considered “macho” to hide their emotions.  Try not to get discouraged if a boy is less bubbly than you want them to be, you can usually understand his feelings more accurately from his actions than his use of exclamation points.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to watching my friends do a victory dance when a cute girl texts them, only to respond with a “K.” SERIOUSLY??? Trust me, they ARE excited to talk you...they’re just waiting until you’ve gone home to show it.

Probably the most important thing to remember is that boys are people too.  They feel the same emotions and nerves that you do!!  Just like it’s inaccurate to assume that all girls act the same in social situations, the same goes for guys!  Some may be jerks, some may be total mush balls, some may recite poetry, some may punch you in the arm and call you “dude”, and some may never work up the confidence to walk across the room and talk to you!  Treat everyone you encounter like a real person worth getting to know, and remember that YOU are a real person worth getting to know, and you should be just fine!!