Things Change, But That is Okay
“The video about chastity really got me thinking about my future, particularly my future husband. I had pretty much already decided that I didn’t want to have sex until I got married, but this really validated my decision.” ~written for religion class 2014
“I didn’t know how to bring this up yesterday, but I lost my virginity.” ~ a text to my best friend 2016
Okay, let’s get this out in the open and say part of me is terrified to write this article, but part of me knows this is an article I needed to read about a year or two ago. Two years ago I was finishing my freshman year of high school and was a very different person than I am today. In fact, if you would have told me about my life currently, I would have promptly laughed in your face and told you that you obviously have me confused with someone else. At the time I did not know it, but as a freshman I was queen of judgment, and as one of my now best friends told me a couple nights ago, he used to hate me because he thought I was a “prude-y judger.” In complete honesty, I was. I was a master at dishing out a healthy dose of religious guilt. I was not naïve, and I was not sheltered; I just firmly believed a lot of sexual things were gross or something I just really was not interested in doing, and yeah, if I heard you were “hooking up” I thought you were a slut. I am not proud of that, but that is the truth. Then something happened this year.
I do not know if I simply grew up, or just got bored, or found people who really accepted me, but I stopped judging. I realized that it was a waste of my time and energy, and I realized all this after I had my first hookup. I liked him, he used me, but that is a whole different story. Basically, he was my first kiss and my first blowjob. Smart? No. Reality? Yes. Months later, and with a different guy, we were hooking up and I lost my virginity. Honestly, all my friends were shocked because I think everyone thought that if I was going to lose it in high school, it would have been to the first guy, but things change. The thing is, doing that made me realize that hooking up does not make you a bad person. Diverging from the path you thought you would take years ago does not make you a bad person. It is completely okay and expected that you will change throughout the four years you spend in high school. I used to tell every incoming freshman I knew that before they entered high school they should set their limits and stick to them, but now I tell them that they should come in with limits but know they will change, and more importantly be okay with that.