How to Handle Friends that Judge

Image provided by:   Anna Tselevich

Image provided by:  Anna Tselevich

During high school or college, any of your young adult life really, you will change. You will change in ways you never imagined. You and all of your friends will go down different paths. Some will focus on relationships or hooking up. Some will focus on school and their future. Some will focus on partying and having the time of their lives. Some will focus on extra curricular activities. I am not saying you cannot have a healthy mixture of all of these, but one will normally be at the forefront. Going down different paths than your friends can be fun and make for a really interesting and diverse group of people, however it can cause some serious drama. Friends from middle school or early high school may want to cling to you even though you have moved on or changed. If you want to stay friends with people you have known since you were little you must learn to accept people’s differences. While ideally everyone would accept others for how they are it is inevitable that you will end up with some judge-y friends.  

For example, a couple of nights ago I was out getting dinner with some friends. We were all catching up and talking about our year and our boy problems *sigh*. When I got home I received a text from one of my guy friends who was there that night. The text began with him asking me to not talk about certain things in front of him again. I understand this, while nothing was talked about in detail obviously, I get that talking about certain topics just make some people uncomfortable. However, he then went on to say that because he now knew we did certain things for a fact it hurt him and he was forced to look at us differently and see our vices every time he saw us. This is where I start to have a problem. No one is forcing anyone to see someone in a different light. No one is forcing anyone to think of someone badly. The truth of the matter is someone will always be upset with what you are doing and someone will always be judging you.

Here is what anyone dealing with judging friends needs to realize- just because someone doesn’t agree with what you are doing or believes they now “have to look at you differently” it doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong or are a bad person. At your core, you are who you’ve always been. I would argue that those who have done more and gone through more are better people. Just remember that whatever you are doing, if you come out stronger, you won. No matter what anyone says.