Starting On the Path to Moving On
One of the main things I’m trying to focus on through Undeniable Life is to create content that is actually relatable. Carrie and I were talking and we agreed that many of the online publishing sites we follow for young women are a little condescending. By that we don’t mean that it isn’t quality content, or pieces of advice that are extremely wise; we just mean that we honestly don’t have it all figured out. But it's hard when it seems like everybody else does, or when you read something and all it does is make you feel like there is something wrong with you for not being able to understand it. A lot of the times we want to write articles about the things we are going through, and to give ourselves (and you, the readers) answers- but sometimes we just don't have the answers ourselves.
So the truth is, we really don’t have it all figured out. And we know that you don’t either. And we also know that that is perfectly okay. We’re allowed to make mistakes, we’re allowed to be confused, we’re allowed to feel lost and broken- after all that’s just a part of growing up. So, our aim here is to create content that you can relate to, so you can get an inside look at a piece of our feelings and minds that are more “real” and a little less "curated".
So, here’s the thing. Right now I’m in the midst of a lot of crazy things happening in my life. I transferred to a new school, I’m commuting to school, I’m working basically 2 full-time jobs, I’m doing my best to run Undeniable Life, and I’m also going through typical relationship issues that honestly were probably to be expected down-the-line. Yet, through all of this, the thing that has consumed me the most up to this point has been the relationship issues.
It’s so easy to let the people who you care about most to have a very large influence over how you are feeling. I truly felt like this rollercoaster was never going to end. But today, I’m not sure what switched in me. I guess my sadness turned into something else. I would almost say indifference, but that seems too casual. I really just think the best way to explain it is that I just finally let go. I feel like I have been holding onto something so tightly because I didn’t want to lose it, but in the midst of everything, I let myself be used and honestly just plainly not treated right. I guess I finally realized that I deserve more than what I’ve been getting. I heard a really great quote on a podcast last night that changed the way I have been thinking aboutlots of things. “Release, and therefore allow”. Meaning, what is meant to be- will be. I’m done forcing things, and I’m personally ready to move forward and move on.
So, my next question of the day was — How do I do that?
I’ve never really been in this situation before, so all of these feelings are very new to me. I think before, I let my S.O be a personal identifier- meaning, I let him be a part of me and determine how I viewed myself. So, from now on, I just plan on going back to all of the things that made me happy before I was in this relationship. I’m going to list a few easy things that will help you get onto the right track and I hope this will help. Remember to give yourself as much time as you need! Don’t rush or force your feelings
Take a bath (or 5): One of my favorite ways to end the day is to take a bath. It’s one of the only opportunities we get to completely disconnect. You can just take time to relax, be left alone, and you can take the time to practice clearing your head. Pampering yourself is definitely the first step in feeling better!
Crafting: Expressing your creativity is such a good outlet for your emotions. It is also a great way to fill time to help you keep moving along. My personal favorites are knitting and embroidering, but I also recently took up pastels and it’s been so much fun. Don’t be afraid to push yourself, and to step outside of your comfort zone.
Netflix, Netflix, Hulu: What better way to kick-back after a long day than to watch a new show? TV shows I think are better than movies since you get the comfort knowing they aren’t going to end or run-out any time soon. My personal favorites are Jane the Virgin, New Girl, Bones, Chuck, White Collar, and Quantico (which are all on Netflix!)
Long drives: Sometimes you can’t help where your thoughts lead you. But once they start leading you down the dark and twisty road, you need to insert a stop sign. Quite literally. I have found that putting on my favorite playlist and just getting on the highway is quite an effective way to just let go of everything and focus on something else. You need to find things to distract yourself with, so really whatever works for you.
Re-connecting with old friends: Sometimes, especially once you graduate high school, it’s easy to lose touch with a lot of people. So, in this time you are taking to focus on yourself, try and surround yourself with people who you have fun with. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back from the normal people you spend time with, and re-connect with old friends since you’ll have so many fun things to talk about and a lot of catching up to do!
I hope that you can find comfort in some of these things, and I truly hope that we can continue to serve as a resource for all of our readers. Even if we can’t always have the answers.