Why You Shouldn't Be Playing Hard to Get

Every relationship goes through some turbulence eventually. Sometimes, it’s unexpected and it’s also pretty scary. I have personally struggled with this type of thing, and maybe you have been in this position before, or a really similar one, or if you haven’t then this will just be some good advice for the future.

The advice I have heard the most throughout these past few weeks from the people close to me is to “play hard to get.”  Make him feel jealous, etc etc.; but, honestly, what good does that do?

To a certain extent I understand the reasoning behind it. People want what they feel like they can’t have, but you know, at the end of the day, when you are in a relationship, or about to be in one, you shouldn’t always have to play hard to get.  The person you are with should appreciate every second that they have with you and just the fact that you are theirs.

You need to be with someone who accepts you for everything that you are.  Needless to say, we aren’t all perfect.  I’m not.  You’re not.  He’s not; but loving someone means the acceptance of everything that makes you wonderful along with all of your flaws.

If it only seems like someone wants you when they feel like they are going to lose you, or can’t have you, then that is a sign.  If you don’t feel loved and wanted, then what is the point?  You can only give so much of yourself to someone before you give too much-- especially if it’s not being reciprocated.

My point is, if you are hurting, the solution shouldn’t be trying to hurt the person you’re with. Fighting fire with fire is never a good idea.  Instead, just be honest.  Be honest with yourself, your emotions, and with your SO.  At the end of the day, it’s the most you can do.  Put yourself out there and put your heart on the line, and if they care they will be there.  If not, then it was not meant to be.

If you feel like calling them, call them.  If you feel like texting them, text them, but don’t just stoop down to a low level just because you’re feeling vindictive.  Sometimes the chase is a part of the fun, but it shouldn’t be the entire point.  My biggest piece of advice is to just be open. Don’t close yourself off to anything.  Holding in your emotions can lead to a whole new set of problems so, at least if you get it all out and in the open, you’ll know that you did everything you could do— and that you did it in a fair way.

Love can drive us to do crazy things, but it’s important that we try to stay grounded.