Fat is Beautiful Too

Photo by Alex Harvey on Unsplash

Photo by Alex Harvey on Unsplash

Ten years can feel quite like an eternity when you are struggling with weight issues. My own personal nightmare has kept me back from opportunities, experiences and future accomplishments. I have been practically stagnant, defined by a not so little number on the scale. I have been shrouded in a cloud of fear, self-hatred, doubt, and worry. For ten years I have had a deflated sense of self worth but no longer. This is not your typical sad story. There is promise on the horizon. Fat is beautiful too. That is the pledge I have made with myself on the eve of my 21st birthday.

I remember refusing to go to school because of my appearance. I quit jobs because of my insecurities. Starting and maintaining friendships was nearly impossible. I allowed my weight to make me feel invisible. My high school graduation was a disaster, not to mention all of the parties, outings, field trips and school ceremonies that were purposely missed.

Ten years was ten years too long. I stubbornly refuse to start a new year governed by how I look. Self love is a new friend that I shall enjoy being acquainted with. I am kicking negative feelings to the curb. I am choosing to transform my pessimistic body image views into a more positive light. It is my time, a time of metamorphosis. Now do not let me fool you as I have a healthy fear of change. Yet what I am more scared of is staying the same. I slowly recognized the insanity of letting my weight dictate my life. I want to live to the fullest and that was not happening before.

After years of missing out, I finally want to participate in this wonderful thing called life. There is too much to do in my 20’s for me to be held back. My body is a beautiful temple that I am choosing to nurture, protect and treasure. I have made small strides in the right direction such as going for walks, getting to the gym, incorporating a more plant based diet and limiting my junk food intake. I have stopped altogether with binging and purging and have never felt better. I have nothing to hide anymore. I am curvy and proud. I am flourishing. I am on a healthy journey of self-discovery.