The Power of Friends

     We can’t live without them, sometimes they are the strangers that become family and the best ones are life changing. Good friends are vital in as we attempt to figure out the craziness in life. The true mystery is how do we determine good friends and keep them around for good? The answer may not be as simple one would hope but there are a few ways to detect a good friend and tips as to how to make them long lasting.

     Finding good friends can be tricky, due to many personalities, intimidating due to the fact that most begin as strangers and hard to trust when we know nothing about them. Even so there are a few qualities that a good friend should have even in the beginning stages of getting to know each other. With each of these qualities it’s important to sense before we determine and picture a potential friend being in our life for years to come. Before getting into what these qualities are there’s one disclaimer. No one is perfect and not everyone will meet all of these qualities. Some people will walk into our life living up to all of them and may be the friend we’ve always wanted. But most of us will fall short on a couple of these things. This doesn’t mean we can never speak to them again or stop trying to befriend them. What matters is that we are intentional by defining the friendship we desire including the values that matter to us before we begin building the foundation. Within a discussion like this we are experts on ourselves and know in what areas could use improvement. Anyone who is at least willing to try to live up to these qualities as a friend has potential to be a good one.

     These are just a few of the most common qualities that make a strong, longer lasting friendship. The one that can be the hardest to detect and often is the that we fear the most of is dishonesty. Realness, authenticity and honesty in general is crucial in a good friendship. Without it we may be heartbroken, or even realize that were becoming friends with someone who isn’t who they say are which could affect our ability to trust others in the future.

     When making friends I find the best way to figure out if someone is trustworthy or not is to put them through small test. Before I allow anyone close to my heart I put them through these small test to see how well they met the values I honor most in friendship. Besides honesty I put one of my closest friends to the test by seeing how well she listens. We all like to rant every once in awhile and while it may often times be about nothing or the worst day ever it feels nice to have someone there who truy listens. With this friend in particular I realized she had passed this small test when she would recall little details within later conversations. Details that could only be recalled if she had truly listened.

    Another quality of a good friend is how they treat us and others. If a friend is putting us down, critiquing us, guilt tripping us when we’ve done nothing wrong or making us feel less than, there’s a problem. Not only have we befriended a bully but should take no part in a friendship where the so called friend doesn’t approve or accept who we are as an individual. This is the recipe towards a toxic friendship and if any signs show of actions like these, we should be alert and distance ourselves. A good friend will encourage, support, be an advisor for things that may cause us harm or may not be the best decisions for us but would never lower our worthiness.

     Good friends keep our best interest in mind at all times. A good friend won’t pressure us into doing something or becoming someone we’re not. They accept us as we are and if any changes take place within us because of a good friend, it’s to help us become better people. These are just a few qualities of good friends but these few qualities can make for a powerful friendship. Even one that doesn’t last a lifetime can have life changing impacts on us if we’re lucky enough to find and or be a good friend.