When someone bumps into you on the street who would say sorry first? The person who bumped into you or yourself? Obviously not you right? Well it may seem like that at first but when this is applied to reality it seems that’s not the case.
The Sorry Reflex is something that only started to get notariety this year after the legendary Barbie Doll made a “vlog” exploring the definition of the Sorry Reflex and how it affects you. After only three months of posting it her “vlog” had reached over 776 thousand views. In just a short time people who have watched this video started to realize just how much they are affected by this “Sorry Reflex” and are struggling on how to change it.
The Sorry Reflex is, like any other reflex, unintentional. We don’t mean to do it but, in the end, it still happens, and we never notice it. This applies to everyone all ages, races, and genders, but I see it mostly affect us girls, especially ones with lower confidence.
For example, if you’re having an awful day and decide to confide in your best friend only to find yourself apologizing and feeling guilty for no reason? That’s the Sorry Reflex. Whenever there is a doubt in one’s mind we often turn to the safest possible solution which is to make things right again, and many times we assume to make things right is to apologize and take responsibility.
We learn from such a young age to apologize for doing wrong and to make up for it. So why is it that we sometimes catch us apologizing for ourselves even when we didn’t do anything wrong? People with lower confidence turn to the Sorry Reflex in a way to help them revert to normal whenever they’re suddenly feeling anxious about something that they did. If you find yourself doing any of the following it’s highly likely that you’re the next victim of the
- Apologizing for being overly-excited about something.
- Apologizing for someone else’s wrong actions or doings.
- Often thinking or feeling the urge to say sorry to fix a situation.
- Apologizing more times in the day then you say “Thank you”
Now if you one or all of this applies to you there is really no need to worry. Over time and by changing the way you think this Sorry Reflex will no longer haunt you or your life. Another thing to remember is that although sometimes you shouldn’t say Sorry you should always remain kind to people, even if they might not be the same way to you. Here are proven ways to avoid using the Sorry Reflex, (all tested by me of course):
- Try saying “Thank you” instead – If you get overly excited about an upcoming concert, or a
celebrity releasing an upcoming movie you have every right to be excited and have no right to
apologize for it. Try saying, “Thank you for not ignoring me” instead of “I’m Sorry I’m so
- Politely correct the person’s wrong yourself – Say you and your friend are arguing on a topic and you are correct, avoid saying “I’m Sorry but you’re wrong.” Try saying, “Are you sure?” or try to convince them to see the correct point of view.
Be creative with the way you suppress your own Sorry Reflex. Everyone’s own experience is different What may work for you may not work for another person. The key is to always remember: you should never apologize for the good person that shines within you.