Why You Should Wait for a Relationship Until After College

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col·lege

/ˈkälij/

noun

“an educational institution or establishment, in particular one providing higher education or specialized professional or vocational training.”

There’s something missing from the “college” definition. Of course the definition of this term is academically correct. To put it exactly, it’s on point. However, it doesn’t explain the social, economic, and academic turmoils college students endure in just 4 years. College isn’t just an excuse for finally departing from the only home you know; it’s an excuse for escape, thrill, and freedom. But yet, as soon as we become first-year college students, we become chained by multiple day-to-day elements: our social lives, academics, family issues, and most importantly, relationships.

Oh, relationships. If I could only go back in time and slap myself on the wrist for being so naïve. Mais c’est la vie, and we must learn to move on and just live. This isn’t a plea for pity - I’ve grown to become a well-fulfilled senior that learned to maneuver through multiple adversities in college. This is a plea for self-awakening: we must learn to understand the complexities of dating and unintentional college hookups because this is the most beautiful years to explore yourself.

Here are a few pointers on why you should put relationships on hold:

This is the only chance to be free and explore yourself

Women are a force of empowerment but we are constrained by what society tells us how we should be. If you look at the role of women in history, you’ll start to realize an ongoing pattern: We’ve been consistently stripped from our empowerment on the basis of men. We were told what to wear, how to act, what we were capable of, and stripped of freedom of expression. Now that it’s the 21st century, things have changed which is all the more reason to take advantage of societal and gender constraints and be you.

You have the chance to take advantage of college’s hidden gems

College isn’t all that bad if you play your cards right. College could be the perfect stepping stone to advancing in your career of choice. This is the ultimate chance to attend trips, make new friends, try that new hobby you’ve been dying to try, and join clubs. College is brutal emotionally but one of the greatest things about college is: everyone struggles together.

You’ll have well-needed personal space

Imagine being with someone that weighs your spirit down. Every time you speak to or hang out with them, something just doesn’t feel right. It feels like that scratch you just can’t reach on your back. You spend a reluctant amount of time trying different ways to reach that spot. Throughout the span of 4 years, I’ve grown to appreciate personal space and make it a priority to at least take an hour out of my day to clear my head. College is like an overcrowded playground - there’s no boundaries between anyone and it’s difficult to block out the noise. Most importantly, this is perfect time to listen to your personal needs and prioritize them before anyone and anything else.

College is freeing, so allow it to be. It is the time of your life to discover who you are, not under someone else.